I wonder why there are no lawyer jokes lately -
: "From: [Managing Partner]
Sent: Tuesday, March 08, 2005 3:15 PM
Subject: FIRM policy regarding intra-office relationships
'In an effort to avoid the type of negative publicity surrounding today's resignation by the president of Boeing due to his consensual affair with a co-worker the following procedure will immediately take effect at [FIRM].
'1. Any person contemplating an intra-office relationship shall immediately notify the managing partner by confidential notice ('Notice') in writing, of their intention to enter into such relationship, with such notice to contain sufficient particularity as to the identity of the other party and the existence of actual consent or tacit encouragement from the other party. Such notice shall be maintained in strictest confidence by the managing partner.
'2. Following notification of an intended relationship, should an actual relationship form (even if brief, transitory or regretted subsequently), both parties shall file a confidential memorandum ('Confidential Memorandum') providing details of their relationship including the date it started, whether it is ongoing, whether it affects the role or responsibility of either party within [FIRM]. The details set out in the confidential memorandum will be kept secret by the managing partner, to the best of his/her ability, save and except for unintentional revelation due to excessive consumption of alcohol or due to a serious lack of interesting gossip within the office.
'I am sure you understand that the introduction of this policy is for your own benefit and I trust that the firm will receive your complete co-operation in this regard.'"