This e-mail came across my desk – I’ve seen variations of it for the US – but this one sounds the best to me.
Dear Mr. Harper;
Please find below my suggestion for fixing Canada's economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to the car industry that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force or nearing retirement. Make a one time payment of $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
- They MUST retire. Ten million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
- They MUST buy a new CAR. Ten million cars ordered - Automotive Industry fixed.
- They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing and Mortgage Crisis fixed.
- They must send their kids to school / college / university - Crime rate fixed.
- Buy $50 of alcohol/gas a week - there's your money back in duty / tax etc.
Select the recipients from citizens who have filed a federal or provincial income tax return in the past five years. It can't get any easier than that!
PS: If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances. If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Now I know there’s not a snowball’s chance in the infernal regions of this happening – but it’s nice to think about it. Just think of the number of MP’s, MPP’s and Alderpersons that would retire.
As was once said: