Winston Churchill quotes

When he was disturbed from his "thinking time in the throne" by a call from Lord Privy Seal, Churchill easily responded with "Tell him I can only deal with one s*** at a time".

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

"Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains."

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."

"Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you."

"A sheep in sheep's clothing." (On Clement Atlee)

"Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."

"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, then asks you not to kill him."

"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk,' to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly."

"We can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they have exhausted all the other possibilities."

Lady Astor: "Mr.
Churchill, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."

Winston Churchill: "And if I were your husband I'd drink it."

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."

"I am easily satisfied with the very best."

"Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."

"We (The British) have not journeyed across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy."

"A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen."

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words."

"If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons."

"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

"Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed."

A young man after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands: "At Eton, they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet." Churchill: "At Harrow, they taught us not to piss on our hands."

"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks."